A Guy is Not a Standard for all Men.

I've heard it time and time again

From a friend of mine.

He keeps telling me that I don't have IT in me.

The 'IT' here does not mean;

The courage to be who I am;

Or the will to work towards what I believe in.

It is not about my confidence to handle things on my own,

Or such a necessity for it in the society in which I have grown.

It is not about my constant effort to better my I AM from my I WAS.

It is not about my soul as much as it is about my looks.

"Ya", he says, " you are a good friend.

But you can never be a good lover to anybody.

Because you don't have it in you.

The romance, the charm, the mystery and the sexiness;

Because you don't fit my category of requirements;

I know a lot about guys coz I am one,

And I know you would be a poor choice

With average brains and beauty half-done."

A guy looks for a girl who can take care of him,

A girl who pampers him and whom he can patronize;

Who fights with him for silly stuff,

Who proves to be a chaff and a huff;

A girl who is either subservient or fighting to be equal,

But never strives for something mutual;

A girl whose sole life and respect depends,

On the guys pride, to protect and not offend;

A girl who would fulfill every fantastical notion

The guy has about his wife;

An object for HIS PURPOSE throughout HER LIFE.

Yes, the guy will take care of the girl,

He will want her to have ambitions in mind.

HIS AMBITIONS on HER MIND.

She should be his everything

The stereotypical lover, friend and mother

While he tries hard to fulfill the age old necessity

Of revising himself as her father and her brother;

Centuries of authoritarians with patriarchal passivity,

Constructing the girl as an object of utility.

But you see,

I don't mind not having IT in me.

I don't mind my inability 

To be what a guy wants me to be.

I don't mind not being the media version of a girlfriend;

I am not apologetic for the way I am.

Coz I am not a girl in need of a guy.

I am a person, I am a woman;

Who wants nothing less than a man.

Let me tell your what I believe in 

And what I am striving towards.

I believe in high ideals and morals.

I believe in respecting the 'other' person.

I believe that people are much more than their appearances;

Or even their outward pretenses;

As hard as it may seem,

I still believe in the innate goodness of humanity.

I believe in constant betterment of the self

And its dire necessity.

Call me inexperienced,

But I believe that cheerfulness and happiness

Make us whole.

I believe in the beauty of the soul.

Don't get me wrong,

I believe in having fun,

I believe in passion and desire

I believe in letting go.

Yet, I also believe in reining in 

And holding on.

I believe in moderation.

I believe in patience and self restraint.

I believe in dignity, love and self esteem.

I am striving to be an independent woman,

Who when time comes,

Will ignite love and not suppress it.

I do not want to be the air,

Of possessive addiction

Or a choking obsession.

Though changes are inevitable,

I believe in accepting my man as he is

As much as I would like him to accept me as I am.

And above all, I believe that

A guy is not a standard for all men.

So you see, my dear, dear friend,

I believe in a hell lot of things,

And strive towards much more,

Waiting for a hopeful future that is in store.