Half Open Door

I want you back, but not the way it was. Not with tears, not with the lies that sounded like love. I miss the version of you who cared, who smiled at me like I mattered. I miss you even when I tell myself not to. But I’m scared. Scared you’ll hurt me again, scared I’ll forgive you too fast. You broke me once, and I don’t know if I could survive it twice. I stand here, half-open door, wanting you to walk in and hoping you don’t. I wish you could come back as the dad I needed, not the one who made me cry. Maybe one day I’ll stop missing you. Maybe one day it won’t hurt to love you.