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Hands like Houses


Before I met you 
I thought that the feeling 
of some one else's fingers on my skin
was always going to burn. 
I thought that the guilt and disgust
that filled every vein 
would be permanent 
and was something 
I would have to deal with, 
like asthma or chronic migranes. 
I didn't know that lips 
across my stomach 
could inject a deep sense of love 
and safety into my heart 
and I definitely didn't understand 
how hard one human being 
could hold onto another at 3 am. 
I definitely didn't realize that sometimes hands are homes 
and that saviors 
didn't always have to be found in churches
but instead 
could be seventeen year old boys 
with eyes like sunsets. 
Most of all, 
I didn't know that 
there was more than one way 
of saying that you love someone.  
It could come subtly 
as making sure you have at least
something in your stomach 
but it could also be said 
in hurricanes and hoarse throats
screaming "I love you god damn it 
I love you don't die on me" 
The whole "until death do us part" thing
was something said in movies, 
not my saving grace 
in the middle of a midnight breakdown. 
I had no idea what freedom tasted like
until your full name 
Rolled off my tongue 
as easily 
as if 
I had been calling it out 
my entire life.
I am thunderstorms wrapped in skin,
chaotic and damaging 
and all together negative 
but you? 
You are crisp, autumn afternoons 
with red cheeks and cold fingers. 
You are my favorite kind of days
I can fill notebook after notebook 
about the electricity between us, 
how if you look close enough 
you can see the tangible spark
And I'm not religious
but you are my god
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