Happy

If you saw me around school, you'd say I was happy;

If you saw me in the stand, or on the field, I was happy;

"It doesnt matter what I say to her, and how much I bring her down, she is always happy"

The years passed quickly, you told me daily how I would never be anything, you thought i was happy;

When i was 17, you said, "at least i didn't kill you; you should be happy"

CPS finally came and took me, I didn't have to be abused anymore, i should have been happy;

But every day was harder, than the next, because every word that you said is stuck in my head;

But even to this day, after all of this time apart and all of the couseling, 

My heart, and my head struggle everyday, you were supposed to love me, 

When I was eighteen, I begged for you to love me, Everyday you refused,

When I was twenty two my baby was born, i realized i wasnt the problem, it was you;

I dont want to take these pills, but if I don't, I cant breathe, I can't function;

Now I am twenty four- I have two Daughters of my own, through all of the attempts of death, from you and from me,

I finally dont hate me, and i honestly believe that i deserve to be happy.

We have not spoke in years, but i hope you are happy too

I still love you mom, even if you hate me.