Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday, I love you

My first thought when I woke today

Happy Birthday, I remember you

A story I wrote

with the stress lines on my forehead

Happy Birthday and I miss you

Miss your laugh

And your voice on a Tuesday

And it breaks my heart every time I remember

that you’re no longer here

Happy Birthday while I grieve you

Or the memory of the you I once knew

But memories are so fickle

Always changing or breaking

Like my heart when I lost you.

And I remember your funeral

The one you could not attend

The one where I stood by an oak tree

and cried over you.

Happy Birthday I forgive you

I forgive you for leaving

Though I know you never asked me to

And a part of myself died with you

And it’s funny how birthdays

remind us of death

As if the moment you light a candle

reminds you that it will inevitably burn out.

And forever seems such a fairytale

Because no candles burn forever

And every poem has a final stanza

So I suppose this is my final stanza

The final one for you anyway

Because the truth is you’re not dead

You just killed me when you let me go

And I know I keep saying I’ve moved on

And maybe it’s true

But Happy Birthday, I’ll never forget you.