the happy me

The grass beneath me 

Meets me with glee 

It scratches my legs 

And tickles my nose 

The warm sun shine down my face 

Sweat dripping down 

The taste of salt and wetness fills me 

But this is happy me 

The happy me I’ve created 

But still doesn’t exist 

The happy me that loves outside and people 

But that’s not me 

Im like a Wilde fire 

Never know when its going to appear 

Always causes damages 

And no one like to be near

I wish I could say I wasn’t 

But im chaos 

Not the good kind either 

Rather the kind that will destroy your whole being 

Im a roller coaster of emotions 

Up and down up and down 

Side to side it goes all around 

Twirling in my head until im dead 

The voice in my head 

Oh so loud 

I can’t seem to silence them 

They argue and fight 

But are never in anyones sight 

I keep everything in 

Until I explode 

And finally let off that big load 

But I guess this is bipolar 

Mixed with ptsd 

I guess this is the real me