Hard, So Hard to Love Me

I am searching for the book of 

my life that says every man that 

I love, loves me back but can’t 

be with me.  My heart has been 

discarded by so many, and still 

I am trying to believe in love.  

Believe in someone’s ability to 

love me.  He would if he could.  

They all would if they could or 

wanted to bad enough.  In my mind

messages scroll across my thoughts

but nothing makes sense.  No clear 

thoughts begins to make things flow inside me.  

As I stand alone staring at the people

around me who have what I believe I want.

Turning to the darkest corner of me I search

for the answers to my questions, that have

evolved into an obsession.  A time consumption

that I cannot get back.  Such a wonderful

person is living inside, smiling, laughing, living.

Alone.  Not wanting to be alone.  

…Just me.

I didn’t think that I could ever be the cause.  

Why is it so hard to love me?

For someone else to see in me what I see.

What I think I see.

It’s there isn’t it?

Look closer.

 Never thought loving me would be such a chore.

Something so simple

Something so difficult

I just never thought it would be so hard to love me.