Hate my heart

Tue, 09/01/2015 - 20:22 -- lani

I just want to feel loved and needed. Day by day these wants are being buried right along with my heart. I suppose I'll still do for you/ only to be screwed in the end by you.

Love is being lost and forgivness is nowhere to be found.

My head is spinning in circles from the thoughts that engulf my mind.

Do you love me? I know you don't.

Are you in love with me? No, your in love with the bottle, tossing back drinks never worried bout tomorrow.

I slowly feel the person I once was, slowly evaporate into the air.

The fight I once had for you is leaving. 

The love I was once feeling for you is dissappearing.

I no longer want to stand by your side, cause I'll look like a fool.

Thanks to you the wall I was tearing down, is back in construction.

I'm building the wall back up, but this time thicker and more wide, I'll make it impossible for anyone to tear it back down.

No more pleading, no more begging, I'll slowly start to forget you you'll become a fain memory.

Skip you and the bottle that you kept putting up to your lips and deeming more important. I won't ever reciprocate love or care for anyone else, you had caught my heart in your web and sucked it dry.

I allowed you and your alcoholic words to tell me things sweeter then honey, believing that we actually had a chance to get through the challenges.

I should've put deuces up a long time ago, but I thought that I could help a hopeless soul.

Make you feel alive, make you feel like the bottle wasn't your only source of dependency. I wanted to help mend the broken heart that caused you to let the bottle continue to intoxicate your mind.

Reminiscing on the first sip you ever had, it burned your throat as the liquid went, but you loved every minute if it. That first opened you up to a new world, a world that accepted you, but didn't really help you.

See I was the light that wanted to guide you through the trenches, I was the light that wantec you to do better.

But that bottle you consistiently put up to your lips continues to cloud your better judgement. Remember I'll always love you, but I'll never fall in love with you ever again.

Have fun with drinking from your bottle, I'll move on to the next build up with them. I just wish I would've payed more attention to the warning signs, but I ignored them only to be the one played at the end.

 

This poem is about: 
My family
Guide that inspired this poem: 
Poetry Terms Demonstrated: 

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