Have no fear

Its been a while since I was a child a juvenile in denial of Christ. I started hiding my smile walking for miles playing with lighters igniting fires at night. Yes I was wild but I would try to do what I knew was right. I had no idol or role models just was idle with time unable to keep stable I went to the dining table and designed a few rhymes. Went to school for the first time was told don't act a fool you'll be fine but I couldn't be still in line. I was defiant and often wish I could die just to see what Heaven is like. I was out of my mind until the age of 9 I was told by a 15yearold to give me your phone and I said that I wont he followed me home I told my mom he started throwing bricks at my room I told him to move I pulled out my bb gun and he told me to shoot it went straight in his eye and when he cried I just knew somebody wanted me to do that to you. It was because of fear I gained confidence All of those tears through the years disappear and became harder than. A knuckle wrapped in a belt buckle I'm glad my uncle discarded them. Was once abusive but now I use it to fuse it with my music but still a noose sits loose hanging on my shelf just in case I lose Christ in confusion I'll use it to kill myself