Have You Ever Wondered?

(poems go here) Have you ever wondered where I’m at? How I live every day with what you call a lie That I couldn’t even look at myself Without seeing you inside Have you ever wondered how scared I might be? That every night would haunt me to no end The sounds of your breathing would replay in my mind. I didn’t even know how to mend Have you ever wondered how much damage you did? To girl who didn’t understand how or why To take away my pride and dignity And to even watch me cry Have you ever wondered how terrifying life was? Since you decided to take control me Push me down and tell me to be quiet Did you realize what monster you turned to be? I look back to that night all the time Trying to figure out where I went wrong How I could have fought back It’s amazing I let it define me for this long Life had been a nightmare for me Every moment I feared what came next At one point I forgot who I was And felt I was only good for sex But, have you ever wondered how I grew from it? That I fight everyday to be true You taught the biggest lesson in life To never let someone defeat you Have you ever wondered how I feel about it all? That I forgive for your sin You did everything horrible to another human being But you sure as hell didn’t win I am stronger then I have ever been I live life now in every possible Don’t take this as a thank you I hope you feel my pain someday