I know the easiest answer, the simplest escape

of my fear of everyone, everything.

Fear is my oldest and most amiable companion; it lives within me.

But, I live on, I suppose, because there are only two choices left.

Live on, because I must, because I cannot leave her alone.

Breathe on, loudly if I can, because there are people I love around here

and because my insolence can only take me so far.

So I still speak not a word.

I still hope the constant breathing of my space heater

Drowns out the sounds of my own breathing,

so he doesn't come upstairs.

But still, I breathe.

For everyone around who makes me laugh,

For those I dread to leave behind.

For the satisfaction of being alive, sometimes.