He wonders

He sits under the stars late at night Up against a brick wall Breathing slowly Waiting for the feeling of the liquor from the bottle to hit his lips and travel to his brain Till he no longer feels cold the only thing he feels is shame. He looks up at the little white specks that can only been seen at night Wonders why he never puts up a fight A battle against addictive pleasure and sorrow He tries to pull himself back up But realize there is no use because the strength of the 90 proof pulls him down Set steady to the ground With his vision blurred He stays where he sits, only to wonder Why he couldn’t stop the liquor from taking everything he’s got He wants to cry out But just can’t There’s nothing left for him to shed Because no matter what he does, he will always feel dead Until the thought of her sunshine hair Making his world seem a little less unfair. He wonders what she dreams at night And whether or not she dreams of him The days when he took her to the forest And watched her play The talks of fairies, bears, goblins, and butterflies, Explore her mind The most beauty he has ever seen He takes out the only thing he keeps with him at all times A photo with eyes so green . He smiles and feels at peace And whispers “Dear God, keep my daughter safe because right now my world had been misplaced I don’t want her to see me lacking my fatherly strength. I ask you to send a message to her of love and faith I pray”. He closes his eyes to find his stable mind He no longer is drunk off sorrow but drunk off his daughters imagination Intelligently innocent He begins to stand Pulling himself from the mud He feels hope flowing through his blood