Is He worth it?

"Pusshhhh, Puusshhhhhhh" is all I hear him screaming 

"Hurry up" or "You're not doing it right" as if he's an expert on pushing out this little human being 

Cries bellow aloud of this small portion of innocence 

Our tears flow from our eyes to our cheeks because we're happy to see this blessing yet all the credit goes to him 

"I made this baby" he says, "This is MYcreation" as if he's God?

The months pass, the beating progress, even to the point where the bruises misses the baby because you've covered him close to your breast, because HIS fits of rage are inconsiderate 

Blue and purple is all you see for years, days, months, and all the baby feels is wind passing his head to get mommy, so the "wind" won't get him 

Is he worth really worth it? Worth the days your son grows and only knows of hospitals and IV's and that mommys gone away because daddy was too rough when they "played"?

is he worth your life, your happiness, your joy, all the things you've expressed your son to be? 

Is he worth you son growing up without a mommy and a broken family because YOU want to "Pick up the pieces" of His broken past? 

The past is just that the PAST, How is He going to better his future if He uses the past as an excuse to lay hands, to "baptize" you? I'm so confused but as You say, "Love works in mysterious ways" but those are ways that romantically sweep you from your feet, not take your strength to stand because your height dominates his ego so the only place you belong is on the floor? 

This beautiful baby boy is my inspiration, those clear monster running through your veins to help hydrate you from your excessive bodily function of perspiration helps poetry be my dedication of life to express myself and channel the rage I put on this page to express how I feel and not express the LOVE THAT HE SHARES WITH YOU THAT'S SOO REAL!!! 

Infuriated is all I feel, then my anger dies down to show my nephew what true love feels like. 

It feels like wind that blows through your hair, it feels like a breath that one just wouldn't want to share with another because its essence wouldn't be cherished appropriately, it's the feeling of baptism through a forest of wild Lilly's and tulips and the fresh smell of dew, it's the feeling that ill show him and hopefully inspire you, to find your true feeling of love. 

So again I ask, 

Is He worth It?