Head and Heart Aches

My heart hurts 

And I want to tell you. 

You are lying 

next to me but you are not there.

And I am crying

 my eyes out.
but it seems the more I cry the less you care

how does it work like that? 

My head hurts 

More specifically it’s like I bared it to you

and instead of nurturing my headache you are

stacking dictionaries on my chest. 

Splitting my head open with an axe 

But maybe that’s how beautiful things grow? 

I feel numb 

But that is how Athena was born 

May she bring me wisdom?

My head hurts 

One migraine for each argument we have 

I try to figure out what I’m lacking 

But the more I try 

the heavier it comes down 

How can you lie 

Asleep snoring so soundly 

So loudly? 

How are you okay with what you’re doing to me? 

I don’t get it. 

You tell me to shut the fuck up and 

Go to bed 

I am trying, but 

My heart hurts. 

My sadness drowns me 

It turns me to an insomniac. 

My anxiety clings to my body 

Like a white flag I never even waved. 

My anger frightens me 

A fire that I didn’t start has burn out of control 

Consuming everything. 

My depressive tendencies follow me 

And I want to just pack 

My bags and move away.  

Away from you and away from them 

Hide somewhere no one can find me 

...Except our daughter, of course...