Head Fuck

Happened so long ago, 

Young, drunk, and silly,

Propositioned by a lady of the night,

Of a different type.

Dread, fear, get out of my head,

Bound to have got a dose, regretfully,

Suicidal now, something ain't right,

Please god help me tonight.

Time went by, confusion set in,

Feeling totally shitty,

Experiment with danger, lips shut tight, 

Secrets safe, not alone, feels kinda right.

Losing my mind, 

Clarity gone, feeling crazy,

Self destructing,

I feel so shite.

Acceptance of the past, deeds gone by,

Healing the hurt, slowly,

Memories stored of a fucked up kind, 

Feeling down still, something still not right.

Years gone by, changes a new, 

Life is on the up, optimistically,

Frenzy within, a darkened stain,

Come back to me,  stress and fight.

Realise this is a part of me,

Urges are not going anywhere, quickly,

Breaking the link, lead a calm life,

Perhaps my sanity won't take flight.