Healing

Im healing 

Or I think I am

To be honest it’s hard to tell anymore 

Pain to me feels normal since you left 

So healing almost feels like clamps prying open wounds that were FORCED closed 

I know I’m not better yet 

And working on myself feels so selfish sometimes. 

But it’s needed 

I hope your okay 

I think of you in these moments 

I think maybe if you were still here you would be proud to see it 

I’ve definitely been doing a lot of maturing Since you left 

But I just wish I could just hold you one more time 

Smell you one more time 

Feel how soft your skin feels against mine 

Hear your laugh and see your smile. 

I’ve never claimed to be perfect 

I’ve never claimed to be strong 

But you saw me as that and I guess that was enough for me to continue 

And now that your gone I have to be that voice for myself 

I feel numb Palo… 

A part of me wishes I can still come to you when it becomes to much to handle 

And the other part knows that that would just be a vacation from my long overdue therapy session 

I’ll keep working hard to make myself better and who knows 

You might be back 

Changed yes 

But back 

And if not 

I’m still glad I had the opportunity to see who you really are. 

I’m glad you let me in and never judged me 

Hopefully once I’m ready and done with all this healing I can meet someone as excepting and loving as you were 

And hopefully this time I won’t be the reason why it ended