Healing Hurts

I'm sorry that I'm broken, my skin and my heart

That inside I am tearing myself apart

And I feel useles because so many have died

I should have been able to do something and if I had just tried

A little bit harder and fought with more force

But while everyone dies, I live through these wars

And though I have been given this power to save

This power that could have helped so many of the fallen brave

I still can't get to them fast enough

I can only get there in time to be there for those they loved

I have seen so much death, more than heroes of old

Only a few of those gone will have their stories told

But that doesn't mean I can't tell the ones left behind

I won't let them be forgotten or dismissed from my mind

I'll remember the name of each person I've failed

Because despite the fact that we have prevailed

It feels like I still lost

I know that we won, but at what cost?

But others are in pain so I'll smile through mine

I'll be happy for them and cry on my own time

Because I feel like I'm giong to break down or burst

But I can't and I won't, I have work to do first

My sanity will snap eventually, I know

But as long as there are people to heal, I won't let it show

So I'm sorry that I'm broken, my head and my heart

But my job is watching people die and that's just so hard