heart out

Heart out

Hi my name is Ana and this is my heart out…

Once upon a time I was born

The only girl out of four

Made them really happy, most of them even say I got so lucky

So lucky I was not able to witness life in darkness

So lucky I was born on times of butterflies and genies granting wishes

Or was I?

Just a heads up this part is gonna get really sad

But what can I do? I am pouring my heart out to you, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry I don’t find myself lucky

I’m sorry I don’t see butterflies or genies. Heck I don’t even see a lamp!

All I see is a 21 year old,single!hey I am single hit me up

21,dropout,unemployed,broke,lost girl

Hey momma, I’m sorry I can’t make you proud

I’m sorry your baby girl can’t even finish school just because she does not think it’s for her

I know you are tired, im sorry I kept on lying that I’ll do it

I kept on trying you know, I just kept on messing up.

Hey papi,you may not say it but I know you are disappointed

I’m sorry, I am just so sorry.

To my brothers out there with their lives

 I am so happy for all of you

You baby girl can’t take it anymore

That i just choose to block you all out of my life

I’m too ashamed, I ‘ve kept too much

I’m sorry from the bottom of my being I am really sorry

I don’t hate the world or the people

I just hate myself , I hate myself for whom I chose to become

I heard loneliness is better than pain

I completely disagree because being lonely is painful

It is as if the whole world is against you

This is not a goodbye just in case you guys are thinking of that

Do not! I repeat do not do that!

I made this poem to inspire, which I hope it does

I  see no butterflies because I’ve got no flowers

But hey I can plant!

I see no genies because there aren’t such  things

But hey I can make my own wishes come true!

I may be a mess

But I can clean myself up too!

I can do it

Find myself,restart,redeem

It’s never too late as long as I am still breathing.