Heart on Overload

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What have done again?

My goodness you did that wrong.

Stop stop stop do it this way.

I swear men your killing me.

Is like talking to the wall with you.

Can you ever get anything right?

Just once do something the right way.

When are you going to grow up?

My whole life you’ve dictated to me what to do and when to do it, what to wear, and how to act!

My whole life I felt comfortable with being a dunce.

My whole life I felt comfortable with not thinking for myself.

My whole life I learned to fake every emotion.

I learned to get by and when I couldn’t, I slipped in the bathroom and did my thing

Worst of all I began to see life as my prison.

I thought of something yesterday.

OMG!!! I thought of myself.

 Then I heard the stop being selfish speech you gave me and as fast as it came it was going again.

What was that…..? I dreamt of myself being free making my own decision with you belittling me, without hearing your mocking laugh reminding me of my failures past. Then I thought real hard about it and (pause)

And it became clear to me you remind me of my mistakes to make me stronger; you push me farther so that I can achieve my goals. You are the ground beneath my feet, you are the wings beneath my wings, you are air my lungs can’t survive without, like a spirit you watch and guide over me you are my every woman.  

Wait wait wait wait I remember now I want something different but I am really ready.

I want to let the real me out, what will they say, what will they think, who will I have to say goodbye to.

 What to see the world with my eyes not my ears.

I wonder how all that will feels

Wow I think I am actually ready

Can’t wait for that day. It’s coming slowly but surely.

Slowly but surely my sweets slowly but surely… 

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