Heart-Soldier

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With tears unshed, and eyes open wide Days of class and work and normal blur by, But now I think I’m safe with eyes dried, Yet why do I always feel about to cry? This world is cruel, not one I trust as a friend That has not hurt my heart or mind, and made me bend.   First one, now another, when my heart might be near The man does protest, the friend stand by me, Yet behind my back they talk and flirt, while I tear My heart breaking, how can I not let it be?  A friend, a sister, a woman – the latter does show But I won’t fall apart, I learn and grow!  I close my eyes, fight the raging tears For they threaten at the entrance to my heart. Should I relent just a moment, all my fears,  I shudder at any thought of idea, a bitter tart. So why does my heart stutter and ache, despite how hard my head, my mind, I do shake?  As I wake and live, so much sorrow does engulf me But could I be strong enough? Or should I be so strong?  What hope do I have, I, to venture and to see Myself develop and grow, to see myself a part of the throng. Is it truly so wrong that I aim to be happy?  Or should I condemn myself to something so crappy?  They come, the sight of my heart on my sleeve,  Expecting me to cry and rage and fall to my knees But I’ll do what they’ll not expect and breathe My mind making to my heart a platoon of decrees. If thoughts of you do seem so hard to see,  I’ll make a soldier, yet, of simple ol’ me.   Among a greater power, with learning at my side I will make a whole new me, reborn. Shadows that I once cowed ender, no longer will I hide.  Nor will I stay my tongue, feeble under impressive scorn. Once thought you would and I could, Now I know not all is a “should.”  Skin on skin, it haunts me every sleeping hour The memory residue of our scant encounter.  Now, so soon yet so long ago, I can feel a glower. Your feelings, you forget, do have sweet power, Though you fail to see the means of your words Which only are fuel to my fire, building my wards.  There was once I believed in every fairy tale, But pain has given way to a stressful gain And I now realize that they are so very frail.  I’ve decided, you can’t be just another strain. You’ll be washed out and I’ll happily forget All those moments, leaving me with naught to regret.

Comments

LadyRosette

That it got away from me, then I found what I really wanted to write because of it. 

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