Heart & Soul

My son turns out the lights, as I retire to bed Thoughts swirling around in my head My legs feel as heavy as lead wishing I could have believed what the doctors had said. Another day gone by so fast I don’t know how much longer I can last. My frail frame is being put to the test, reflecting on the past few years, not sure if I’ve done my best. I wearily watch ceiling fan go round, listening to every sound. The porch swing rattles as it blows in the breeze, the clanging on the kitchen counter when my son sets down his keys, And the pounding of my heart from this debilitating disease. I see shadows pass by the light streaming from under my closed door, when I pray to God for more. More time is what I need to tell my family how I feel, but more time would not cause my body to heal. My time has come and I can tell, but I say nothing for I do not want my family to dwell. They must remember me how I once was, I do not want them to think of my flaws. As my last breath escapes I feel a newfound sense of peace, next comes the ambulance and police. They carry my body away, before I begin to decay. I look down at my daughter pray, that God shows me the way. Now that my battle is over, I have seen all that is on the other side. I am now with my husband of fifty five years, seeing him again has only brought me to tears. I’ve been waiting to see him for what feels like eternity, however I feel that I have to take care of one matter more urgently. The only thing I wish I could do is thank my family for all they have done, but I am unable to because my cancer has won.