"Heartbreak"

A while ago, my heart broke. It didn’t disappear, it just broke. Now that I look back, I realize that it probably could have been fixed. Back then. 

Before it broke, it spent a lot of time moving around, trying to adapt, trying not to be so fragile. I felt it in my chest when things got bad, I was hurting and I could feel the pain in my chest. That happened for years. But after time, it gave out. It couldn’t handle all the beatings, it couldn’t take the stabs from the ones around me or the slices I made myself. 

Now, it’s not just broken, it’s disappeared. The first break was a general crack, then that one ran deeper and created small replicas of itself. When there wasn’t enough left to just crack, the pieces shattered. Then they were grounded so slowly, painfully, and the dust left behind was thrown into the wind. Now, when I hurt, I no longer feel it in my chest. Tears run down my face but I can’t feel the sadness. My brain registers it, but I don’t feel it. 

I don’t know how to take this.