Heavy Decisions

Decisions, Decisions , Decisions

They tell me it's mine

for i have chosen this burden

webbed of sin, lust, and ridicule

I have decided to dance with the devil

Decisions, Decisions

If I chose to get help I would be out of this predicament

"Read Your Bible"

they say

but I doubt myself in shame of what a book

that “gives” me morals

claims if i act on what the flesh wants then, I will be sent to hell

Repent!

Hesitating to go with my heart

Pushing away every feeling

I choose Seclusion

Decide, Decide, Decide

If your sanity is worth pleasing others

If you live for others

Because who I am and what I do

Gives everyone the right to tell me their opinion

As if I walk around asking people to tell me how I should live MY life

The fact that they have an opinion makes me laugh

"You won't be laughing when you dont get accepted into Heaven"

Deciding

Deciding

They Decide

not to understand what I feel

Choosing to judge what is not common

"You are a questioning teen..how can I support this?" they said

Choose is the key word

Because YES, as a child I chose to be ridiculed

I chose to be talked about for being different

I chose to be bullied

"you only had to act more like the guys"

Play more ball, or hang out with more guys I thought.

No! What I have to do is come to terms with who i am,

The burden placed  on me is very heavy

A burden that pummels smiles and hangs spirits

But I CHOOSE to live for only me

once you begin to live for others,

you begin to lose yourself. and you may never recover from this