Held Captive By Myself
Does anyone else feel like they are being held captive?
Well, I do. You want me to find the ugliness outside.
I wish I was blind.
I try not to count the calories so I write in diaries.
However, it does not work. I eat less and less every day.
Trying to wash the pain away. You see the funny thing is,
I was not always like this. I used to eat all I wanted and not worry.
I did not count the calories.
I did not stand on the scale and cry when I saw triple digits.
The scale read 106 and that is when it started.
That is when you took over and led me to believe that I was not skinny enough.
I starved for hours on end and I need it to stop.
I am going crazy. I only weigh 118 but that is not enough for you.
You want me to weigh 104. The real question is, do I?
Of course, I do because you are apart of me.
You are my mind. You are me.