H.E.L.P

Is this a disease or a habit? Maybe both... I cant imagine a world without this parasite inside of my body I want to imagine a world without this parasite in my body... I try to let go, they say; "Just say no." If it was that easy maybe I wouldn't feel so horrible that I felt as though I have to hide every emotion that I should show. I just want everyone to be happier than me, I want everyone to see what my eyes fail to perceive. No one deserves to be trapped by chemicals and pessimistic beliefs. My heart holds more memories than my brain. On paper with a diagnosis I might appear legally insane, a brain rejecting empathy for ones self. Another tortured soul, ready to be placed up on the the shelf with the rest to collect dust and be forgotten. A soulless corpse empty and rotten, deteriorated by self destruction and abuse of an inanimate substance that made everything about me more animate than I've ever been. But that was enough until it wasn't...