Help

A cry from inside Unspoken, unknown but you know. you know he is touching you when you sleep you know he is there you know how he watches you and makes you scared youre 6 or 8 or 14 but you know its wrong and you laugh and smile in public and your parents think youre a charm but you know you need help and he is family 2 years older you know he is wrong you know he is wrong. but he touches and touches and touches you play with barbies, he plays with you parents walk in, doesnt see the truth they see 2 kids playing two cousins getting along door closes and hands go where they dont belong and you play along. too scared to tell too proud to cry too kind to ruin your own cousins life touching goes further it goes too far by 14 his hands have taken your pride that gift for a husband that gift for your wife by 14 his hands just took it aside and used it and touched it and made it his own and you know its wrong but cant cry for help family wont listen he's family himself and youve become dependent on his touch for so long that when its over at 15 relief turns to grief because he "loved" you now nobody ever will theyll use you abuse you till they get their fill youre ugly youre fat youll never be loved youre a goddess in presence but a monster in the mirror youre never good enough youre not the right girl for any boy out there and you never will because youre abused because youre used and you cant confess out of shame guilt horror its worse when that cousin and its worse when you act like nothing happened and leave it at that but you know and you know and it kills you inside and you meet a man at 17 whos 17, too who makes you laugh and makes you smile and respects you and loves you and says he always will you want to love him in a carnal manner but cant for the guilt eats you up inside and you tell him with tears in your eyes about all the years taken how you couldnt experience a first love a first kiss a first anything, really, for it was all taken and he looks at you and you have no clue that after all this he still loves you to him youre a princess and always will be in his eyes youre precious as can be he smiles and cries and tells you youre fine hell help you and love you he helps you get over it hes the only one who knows and understands why sex isnt always your wish and loves you for trying and loving him help from a man help from your love help being sent to you by god above love and support in such a rare case where abuse as a child turned to love and acceptance from a man in love with you.