help me find myself

Dear God, help me find myself

Society tells me that I should have a plan

And should understand exactly who I am

I should see my future, revere my past

And make each present moment last

But I can’t see what’s ahead of me

Blinded by uncertainty

If I don’t know who I am now

Than whose to know what I will ever be

The two sides of my brain are strained  

They struggle to agree

My life is a tug a war between cosmetology and cosmology

If my life didn’t revolve around a degree

And there was no concern of salary

Then what I want to love and what I love

Would reconcile unquestionably

Philosophy motivates me to get my views straight  

And enhances the intensity of my internal debate

Between my faith and any confirmation that affiliates

The birth of our universe and cosmological fate

Science causes my mind to push you away unknowingly

And improbabilities about your entities scare me

Because the faces of people whose destinies are mysteries

Instigates me to question why they’re here in the first place

My passion meets hues, music and creativity  

But I have the mindset of an athlete and they’re discrete from one other

My distressed mind is messed up

But it’s dressed up undercover from people who live their life on repeat

And grip what they want to grasp

They stare into an hourglass and watch each minute pass

As they dream about extremely unrealistic things in class

I don’t have my mind made up but it’s easier living open

And hearing spoken opinions of closed minds that live each moment

In the same motion, because they’re on their own track

While I search for my omen

And find a way to leave my footprint on a path that is less chosen