Help me up, help me out

I can clearly remember

how I felt waking up on the 25th of September.

A juxtaposed meloncholy 

for a day that was supposed to be happy. 

Eighteen

I had been waiting 

to feel a sudden changing

A shift in soul

from child to adult.

I didn't at first. 

It wasn't a wave pulling me under an ocean of paperwork and student loans

It was a current pushing me to places unknown. 

I'm constantly faced with questions I don't have answers to:

Will I move away?

What will I do?

Will I be okay?

Can I handle something new?

I might need a hand to hold on to.

Someone to water the seed

that will help me grow

into the person I want to be. 

After I flourish

There's no stopping me

I'll be charming as a daisy

and strong as an evergreen.

I know I'm not there yet 

I'm learning to be independent

There's no shame in asking for help

from family or friends.

I'm different from who I was last year

Holding onto naivety like a security blanket

Asleep to the world

Hiding me from my fears.

I've woken up since then

Letting sunlight shine in 

I won't waste the life I've been given.

I'll continue to grow

I'll try to lead the way

I'll learn to balance and be happy

I'm going to be steady.