In Her Eyes

The world crashes in front of her eyes

she doesnt know what to do

shes all alone , noone beside her

she tries to remember how it started, why it started

she starts from the begginng of her life

she was a accident made by a kid herself

love wasnt there

hidden deep down inside her

waiting to come out

but not soon enough

she wanted a boy, got a girl

thats when it started

the abuse mentally physically and emotionally

she was left at home alone

taking care of another little mistake

just able to walk, hating every moment in her life

everyone in it

wishes she could change it any chance she got

hated the little mistake she had to take care of

she needed help she neede to get out

go somewhere

finally

her wish came true

she got what she wanted

away

dropped off at the doorstep waiting for there new life to begin

she closes her eyes

not knowing what to expect

she dreams of a place where she can be the greatest little mistake ever made

she refuses to open her eyes

look into reality, see whats really on

shes stuck in her own little world

not caring

not loving

just hating

she doesnt know how to love

never taught how

never taught to give just take

she takes your heart and breaks it any chance she gets

it makes her feel happy

it makes her feel like the greatest mistake ever made

she tries to convince herself

this is the way to live 

but deep down inside she knows

that once was a dream is now a nightmear

her life

she wants to get out

make something of herself

she doesnt know how

doesnt know where to begin

she tried before but it was useless

she couldnt stay clean

she wanted to feel the way she did before

CAREFREE

the feeling of not caring is what she was good at

she could do it with or without  the help of her best freind

she missed the way it made her feel good or bad it didnt matter

she always came back for more

her life was in danger

nowhere to turn

she had lost control of her life

she says shes clean and got nothing to hide

shes out of our reach, left us behind

its a ll a lie

she lives right down the street

you can see it in her eyes

always worried

wondering whats going to happen next

scared

she sees a cop and tries to run

get away go somewhere

quick

doesnt want to get caught

go back to the life she once knew so long ago

just a faint memory

lurking behind the masked mistake

memory fading faster and faster

soon she wont rememebr the one she once called mom

shell forget the meaning of family

if she hasnt already

nothing left

no feeling

only her best freind

her life

 

by kristal rogers

this poem was writen about my older sister who fell hard into drugs at a very young age. i was 13 when i wrote this poem. the poem talks about my sister and my mom and me and our adoption.