Here I Am

Dear Mom,

It’s dark

I can’t see you

I can hear you

Your voice soothes me

I know you didn’t want children

But here I am

The wind is on my face

So is the ice cream

I know you are going to throw it out

I made a mess

I know you didn’t want children

But here I am

I didn’t listen to you

You got angry

You showed discipline

And I cried

I know you didn’t want children

But here I am

We’re fighting again

You raised your voice

I raised mine

We’re both angry

I know you didn’t want children

But here I am

We fight a lot now

It’s never quiet

I hate you

Feeling you hate me

I know you didn’t want children

But here I am

The car ride was long

We’re starting a new life

It gets harder every day

We don’t talk

I know you didn’t want children

But here I am

Another long car ride

We go back

We are talking

But it’s quiet

I don’t know what you want

But here I am

I hurt myself

You didn’t know

You blamed me

Said I wanted attention

I know you didn’t want children

We should be okay

Things are getting better

I’m leaving soon

I know you’ll miss me

And I know you didn’t want children

And here I go

Sincerely, your daughter