In the end,

You were bad for me.

You lied

You didn’t feel anything

I wasn’t the only one

I gave up.

 

We haven’t spoken

in six months

Haven’t kissed

for a whole year.

I should be happy.

 

Flashback to our first kiss

I went up to my room

and screamed to myself

Like in the movies.

When you first held my hand

And I was happy enough to explode.

Laying in your bed

Looking into your eyes

and just laughing.

 

Flashback to a beautiful starry night

When I looked up at you

And my heart opened

I knew I loved you

and I told you that you

were the most beautiful person

I’ve ever seen.

That’s still true.

 

Now, I have someone new.

My first relationship since.

He’s perfect

He brings me gifts

opens doors

tells me I’m beautiful

Always says good morning

and good night.

He kisses my forehead

my cheek

my neck

He’s compassionate

and I know he will never

destroy me

like you did.

 

But yet,

It feels flat.

I feel empty.

Even when you were bad

You were good

Because at least I was happy

Or I felt something at all.

 

What if no one

can make me feel like you did?

I’ll never again be so happy

So passionate

So intrigued.

 

I’ll spend my whole life

Faking relationships

trying to create someone

just like you.