hey, mom

- it's me, your daughter.

i don't know what to say to you anymore,

because i feel like you've always been able to say it for me,

the willows that didn't exist in our yard,

the school buses that weren't made for me.

i was a tough kid to raise, wasn't i

head somewhere else, somewhere better

where you didn't have to worry about money or the weather

the soles of my shoes a mess

our family no less

a family stuck between a chance and a bet

we were always in debt, we loved to regret

 

and i used to think that was all that you would teach me

my hands were shaking in between the lines

and you didn't know what to do when i cried

(joke's on you, it was fine

you always hugged me and dried my eyes

and you taught me that love means sacrifice, sometimes

but not all the time)

you taught me confidence even when you didn't realize it

you were a scholar in bravery, you always defined it

for me, a kid with no one to turn to

except i would turn, and there would be you

 

and the thing is,

i really do know what to tell you

it's that i love you, that i don't want to leave you

but here we are

a week from my flight

i'm sitting here waiting for the biggest change of my life

and yes, there's you,

there always will be

i'll call you and you'll tell me about the neighbors' pine trees

i feel your hugs late into the night

i feel them in my tears when i'm watching movies, right

there next to you, away from you, i went on a trip without

you and you know i love you, mom, you weren't perfect but 

that's the point, you tried your hardest and so now

we rejoice, everything's good now, it's all going up

i can sing in front of people and you can buy that teacup.

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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