Hidden despair

Sometimes I hold my breath so I won’t cry—

The hurt sits heavy, quiet in my chest.

I wear a smile so no one asks me why,

And hope tomorrow gives my heart some rest.

I sit and I wonder why these events had to unfold; why did life drag me down?

Why did tears fill my eyes, why did clouds grace our skies?

Why did bad days have to come, why did fleeting happiness have to run?

Why did childhood go so fast, why did sweetness never last?

I am triumphant, yet nobody hears—

Alone with the sorrow that has culminated for years

Alone with my longing the world calls by the wrong song

A refrain that witholds all of the joys that may come along

A melody that curses my song

A harmony that creates destruction wherever I go

I run, I hide, but they come and they take me away.

I hide the scrapes as they look on, nothing happened; it was all a dream

A sudden break from the reality that all wish was not reality, because it is reality,

the despair is real, the anxiety is tangible, the hoplessness is undermined.

Yet we are expected to sit idle whilst all of life drains away.

We sit and we cry behind closed doors while the world rejoices with the masks,

the masks that they wear to hide their despair. 

It is not hidden, just made more real.