A Hidden World

May I share a secret, hidden within the depths of my burdened soul? I am bottomless pit full of treasure to explore but none to satisfy my every need. Ive got an exotic car that I race every night a rolls royce I parade in during the day..

A house full of stuff from places I’ve been to. Remembrances of things I have done.. But deep inside is the other world I live in and in reality it seems so fake.. I have no materialistic things.. I’m poor yet I feel I have plenty for I have a family that loves me. Someone that cares for me.

I try to reach for this piece of paradise a place id love to call home but I realize that I can’t if I leave this world alone.. I love this world and the glory of it but is that enough? When I’m sinking deeper inside it? No way out? 

Money is the future, sex is the pleasure, lust is the need for the corrupt. Is this what I long for? Can I leave it all behind for the desire I yearn for? If I stay with my treasures here on this earth, will I be missing a lifetime of never ending forgiveness, everlasting love, maybe even humility? 

Ugh no! How can I be humble? How can I serve others? How can I forgive and love my murderous brother? But... Could I be the same? No! Actions speak louder than words! But how about I hate you, I will never love you, you will Never be anything but a loser! That can’t be me! I would never say that... 

But yesterday during lunchtime I did just that. My friend took my aston martin for a spin and demolished it, hurt and bruised he lay in the hospital bed, and did I care for him?

Could I ever be happy knowing that I never did something for someone in need? Is someone lost because of me? Because I didn’t care that they stood out in the rain waiting for someone to give them a ride, but my seats were pearly clean, just shined.. 

I think my heart could not bear it, my mind couldn’t comprehend it, my soul would ache for all eternity... What can I do? I keep going back to my hidden world looking for answers, clues to my misery. How can I be so selfish? How can I not see that I am not the only one in need?