where are you? are you out there? i promptly awaited a response. nothing but the beating resonance of my heart and an echo of silence in return. i don’t know where you are and i don’t know if you are out there. but i do know you are out there somewhere.

i hope you are doing okay and doing better than i am. it’s been years and i know you and i are both jaded in search for each other in this never-ending game of hide and seek to obtain the love and adoration we yearn for. tell me again, is it me you are looking for? or is it i who is in search for you? perhaps we mistakenly have taken the roles in playing part of the identical company. how do you play hide and seek with the ingenuous possibility of there being no hider nor a seeker?

still, i further ensued to continue the game.

i have been searching endlessly for months and years to find you and have gotten false alarms and wake up calls to the verge of hopelessly giving up. i just want to find you; i just want to be found.

the month of september arrived and i watched the months frolic beyond my grave to the corners of my stepping stone and i noticed a patch of autumn leaves tremble one by one onto the melancholy ground and felt a sudden resemblance to the falling of leaves — how they too, fall as humans and rise as beings. the triumph of scenic discovery made me realize there is no need to search or wait, but to just be.

and at that moment, i decided i no longer wanted to wait and unleash the love and affection i sought to give. i had to be found and i had to find you. without hesitation, i transitioned from a desperate sad soul seeker to become a lone lost hider. only i am not lost or cached away in the bitter darkness, i am an exposed hider making a statement to my location — standing tall with open bear arms reaching to the heavens aloft in the shadow skies of tone shouting, i am here, i am here, i am here, casting my small individual presence to the sad soul seekers in search for the lone lost hiders hoping to be found and to end this game of wish and fulfillment.

— please find me soon