Hiding

My head turns away,

some things I cannot un-see.

I said I would move on,

so I will not give in.

I’m older. I’m still young.

Looking in the mirror

I can see who I have become.

In some ways they have shaped me.

The way my eyes dim, my shoulders dip

my smile wavers. I look

away—I am broken once again.

In my mind there is a girl,

she is still sweet and whole

she did not break, nor

did she ever cry.

But that girl is no longer me.

She is only the girl

who resides in my head.

Peering out at the world

that I have been left in.

That girl. The girl in my head.

She is who I wish to be.

Never knowing pain, never

knowing regret.
She is still alive, she is

who I could be. If I only tried.

I have lost a lot where she has lost none.

When I look at the mirror

I can see her in my eyes

Looking out at what I see.

Still sweet and innocent,

untarnished by the harshness of reality.

She remained pure

where I faltered and succumbed

to the pressure of those around me.

Oh how I wish that I could not see

the girl that I could be.