High School Heartbreak

 

 

Wake up, brush my teeth, eat breakfast,

think about you.

Go to school, eat lunch, take a test,

see you.

Come home, do homework, go to practice,

call you.

Shower, brush my teeth, sleep

think about you.

 

Life is all about routines.

 

Breaking a routine is like breaking a habit,

And it's been years of trying, but I still can't figure out how to stop biting these nails.

 

Wake up, brush my teeth, eat breakfast,

think about you.

Go to school, eat lunch, take another test,

see you (note the empty seat next to me).

come home, do homework, go to practice,

delete your number.

 

There are days I think it's better that we are what we are,

and then there are these days where I stare at your name and

it takes everything in me not to call you,

to tell you that you ruined me,

to tell you that you ruined everything,

to tell you that you were my everything,

to tell you that I hate you,

to tell you that I miss you,

to tell you that I love you,

to tell you that I don't.

 

But what about you? 

Tell me I am part of your routine.

Do I cross your mind? 

The way you incessantly cross mine? 

 

Tell me I am part of your routine. 

Tell me you miss me. 

Especially at 4am when 

the silence and the emptiness are unbearably haunting.

 

Tell me I am part of your routine.

Fine. Tell me I am not.

 

I know the answer. But I can't help but wonder:

Was I ever part of your routine after all?