The Higher Education

"Father," began the growing youth, 
"Your pleading finds me deaf; 
Although I know you speak the truth 
About the course at Shef. 
But think you that I have no pride, 
To follow such a trail? 
I cannot be identified 
With Princeton or with Yale."

"Father," began another lad, 
Emerging from his prep; 
"I know you are a Princeton grad, 
But the coaches have no pep. 
But though the Princeton profs provide 
Fine courses to inhale; 
I cannot be identified 
With Princeton or with Yale."

"I know," he said, "that Learning helps 
A lot of growing chaps; 
That Yale has William Lyon Phelps, 
And Princeton Edward Capps. 
But while, within the Football Guide, 
The Haughton hosts prevail, 
I cannot be identified 
With Princeton or with Yale."