Him

Hi, First of all, I like that the title and the text of the poem don’t use the person’s name about whom you’re speaking; it makes it seem as though you (the writer) are so consumed with this person that there is no need to name him, that we should already know his name. Further, the style of this poem is fun to read and reminds me of some of my own work (see: Before It Hurts). The one thing I would suggest is to think about how your poem is literally constructed. For example, in this sentence “Locked on that gorgeous smile of yours, the happiness held in every pore” smiles don’t actually have pores, as pores are a function of skin. When writing poetry, I know I too am guilty of thinking first emotionally, but it is important to be correct in a literal sense or else it takes the reader out of the poem. Keep writing! Best, Aubrie