Him

We grew up listening to fairy tales,

The happy endings that would last ever after.

We grew up listening to the tale that said we would never fail,

And how we would always have laughter.

She met him when she was fourteen.

 

They were young and dumb,

They didn’t understand sex but we understood lust and want.

Their cravings to know and grow were so numb.

She never finished, but neither did his font.

 

When they met it was mainly on sex,

But when he said he wanted to be friends,

She felt so shocked- so vexed.

 

Was this a joke?

Who could make the fat girl croak?

Did this teenage boy really want a bond provoked?

Was it okay to let him in without risking another backhand stroke?

 

See she had been around once before

She thought they were a soar

He thought she was a bore.

 

The constant lies,

She never knew about the ties.

Every time she talked about him everyone just gave her eyes.

Everyone else knew, but she wasn’t as wise.

 

Despite the looks,

Despite the books, the crooks, and the nooks,

She continues only to wind up alone.

She had been hurt- despite all she had known.

 

She let him in,

By God did she let him.

She felt she had committed the biggest sin,

Because she had fallen farther than just the brim.

 

She had been in love.

She thought he was a gift from above.

She thought that they fit like a baseball glove.

 

They dated off and on,

Not one year, not two,

Three years: come-on.

It was their first real relationship- they thought it’d never fall through.

 

He never loved her.

It all went by in a blur.

Venom was spit, words were said.

 

In the process, a heart whispered

“It isn’t true;

He still loves you”

 

Three years she wasted,

And she was not sure she tasted.

Tasted what the real thing was.

 

Love is by definition of a deep feeling or affection.

But god fucking dammit-that didn’t come close to the collection.

Love isn’t just a deep fucking feeling- it is the physical pain of rejection.

The steady heart race as a result of his perfection.

 

Love will always be hearing her name as he moaned

Love will always be the way he groaned.

Love is and always be the way he focused when he was in his zone.

Love with him is and always will be nothing but something on a wishbone.

 

But love with him wasn’t love

He never loved- he only ever took hold of

For months and months, he claimed he could never see the end of

The end of their free love.

 

She’d wait until midnight every night for a single line.

She’d wait all day for a single line.

She’d push everyone away waiting for a single fucking line.

 

Yet that line never came,

Her life still remained the same.

She was always left waiting and it’s such a shame.

The worst part is she felt she was to blame.

 

When he left-she only felt numb.

She felt so dumb.

She cried so much she felt like a baby who needs to suck his thumb.

She knew it was all because she was complete scum.

 

She no longer felt the need to eat

All because of the way he was a cheat.

He ruined the way she would greet.

He ruined her chance to defeat-

Defeat the indescribable horrid street.

 

She never longer felt okay for the longest time.

She felt like she deserved to die

She felt she had less worth than a dime.

 

She cried so hard sometimes-

So hard she thought she would suffocate oh and in a great time

She felt her throat burn the burn of exhausting grime

 

She skipped school just as much as she skipped her meals

She lost interest in almost everything she deals

She hated everything that was happening, she even hated the color teal.

 

She hated that she was so dependent on someone to make her happy

But she made her peace.

She doesn’t hate him despite the need to feel sappy

But she still hates how the lies never ceased

 

Even though they try to be friends-she just blocked him out of her life.

She is tired of the lies and misconceptions

She’s tired of hearing him sob like a chest wound of a knife

She is done with him and it’s not because there is someone new despite his deception

 

He was good while it last-but all good things must end-much like his game of a double life.

She is now a free person-she can do what she wants without him judging with a holding knife

She feels empowered over her life- she feels happy for once in real life

She feels everything has a purpose like the sound of a fife

 

She realized that she was never the problem.

She realizes that she was the best she could have been and none of it was her fault

That giving her all wasn’t for nothing but to show him that he had the best and he abused it

She realizes that life is fucking beautiful when you open your fucking eyes and think for yourself

She realizes that she did not belong to him and that she had a set of basic human rights.

 

Realize that heartbreak is human- and it happens to everyone.

Realize that there will always be someone to knock you down-

But the most important thing is not to fall.

Realize that one day you will be okay.

 

Realize that one day- he will hurt just as bad.

Realize one day- he will be the one to chase her.

Realize that one day- she won’t remember him.

 

He was an obstacle in the path of life that she stumbled one.

He was once what she needed but now what she dreads.

He was once a heartbreak- but now just faint echoes of what was desperation.

 

He no longer defines how she feels

He no longer weighs her life down.

He no longer makes her weight-because now the tables have turned.

 

She is living for herself

She is making her own decisions

She is eating for herself

She is beautiful and free.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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