Him

I still remember the day that I first saw you

You where standing on the opposite side of the hallway

You where short, so you stood out a little bit

You laughed and had no conscious of me staring

I didn’t know what it was

But it was something

Something about the way your cheeks lit up

And your dimples appeared when you smiled

Or how your laugh was always fun and loud and hearty

Or maybe it was the way some tufts of your brown gingery

 hair stuck up in random directions

or maybe it was the way your hands moves, like they where strumming strings

Or the way your leather jacket was carelessly tossed over your shoulders

Or maybe it was the way your shoes where even scruffier then mine

But no

No

It was those eyes

One of the bluest pairs of eyes I have ever seen

They lit when you smiled, glowing with glee and joy

But there was a mask, there was a mask too

You might think no one had noticed but I did

The pain, the sorrow, the loneliness

I later came to know what it was for

I was staring and staring

Your friend punched you in the shoulder and said something to you

The rest of the group walked away

But you stayed, for just a split second

You looked my way

Smiled you smile, dimple and all

And your eyes lit up like the soft blue sky above

And that’s when I felt my heart melt

And if I have to be honest

It scared me half to death

 

Later on  we became friends

I will always be thankful for that

We talked for hours on end

I sat on your lap while you told me about your music

Yeah

Turns our you play the drums, guitar, piano and trumpet

We would talk about rock and roll

And the true meaning of punk rock

We would laugh and I would sneak glances at how your whole face lit uo

With the happiness from within

Sometimes I would catch you looking at me too, I always remember it very clearly

It made me smile,  my dark cheeks would slightly glow

But

Then there was her

And it all would have been so much easier if I hated her

But I don’t

I don’t hate her

In fact I really like her

She is amazing

And nice

And funny

And I am very happy for the both of you

Yep

The both of you

He had a girlfriend

It wasn’t until the day that we all went to my friends house and got drunk before we went to the disco

That I found out

It was over, because of something his best friend had done

He couldn’t take it

The worst part was that he really loved her

He really did

He brought beer and a pack of cigarettes

He gulped down a can while he told us what had happened

It was so sad

We all hugged him but somehow

He managed to hang on to me longer

He looked at me with those crystal blue eyes

Piercing and peering into my soul

It wasn’t until I was sitting on his lap that I felt a arm snake around me waist

And him adjust the way he sat

Leaning his  slightly ripped body a little more against mine

I couldn’t help myself

I leaned more onto him, letting my head loll into his neck

I was so close I could smell the cigarette he had earlier

And the bier he had in his hand

And I’m not going to lie but it smelt really good

Our friends looked at us, not thinking anything of it

At a certain point it was time to leave for this stupid school party

We walked down the stairs when I felt someone grab my hand and stop me

He hugged me

He hugged me so hard

And not like you would hug a friend

His hands lingered to long on my back for that

And his body was pressed to close for ”just friends”

And I couldn’t do anything but hug him back

Pressing my petit body a little bit more against his

He then grabbed my hand and lead me down the stairs

Everyone stood in front of a laptop, taking crazy pictures

We stood in the back of the picture smiling our heads off

When I felt a pinky brush against mine

I felt him wrap his strong warm hand around mine

And all I could do was smile

And his cheeks where red

I think because of the alcohol

And he smiled., he really smiled

Dimple and all

And I looked at his face and he looked at mine

And his eyes looked at me

And I just smiled

I knew it was wrong

I thought about his ex

And I thought about his feelings for her

But I also thought about all of their problems

We went to the school party but nothing happened

Everybody just danced, and sang and had a great time

Except for me, because something of my past caught up with me

And it made me sad

It made me so sad

So on the way home, I cried

And cried and cried

But my friends where there, and they love me and that made it all better

And he stood there, beside me

And my best friend leaned over and hugged me

And they told me over and over again how much I meant to them

And I smiled through my tears

And then he sat down, he sat down on the bench,

And he grabbed my hand and I leaned into him

And our friends smiled, because by now they had noticed

And our friends gave me another hug and then they started walking onwards

Onwards towards our friends house

But the boy, he sat next to me

And he grabbed my hand and pulled me up

And we where walking when I stopped

And turned and gave him a kiss on his soft cheek

And he looked startled

I sighed, I probably shouldn’t have done that

But then, then he grabbed my hand

And he kissed my cheek too, slow and steady

And it made me blush and I looked at him

His eyes stayed down

And he squeezed my hand and I smiled

And we ran up to join the others

And my friends put their arm around me, and we walked

We walked into the horizon, the way everything was meant to be

 

 

 

But I guess life just doesn’t work that way

 

 

 

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