He will not cry for himself

And so I will cry enough for the both of us

He will not feel for himself

So I will feel enough for the both of us

I will feel the sadness in his step

I will feel the pain in his eyes

I will feel the anger curling his fists

I will feel the disappointment, carving a hole into his chest

I will feel the fear settling like a rock in the pit of his stomach

But

I will leave to him some feelings

For I cannot feel all his emotions for him

I will leave him the joy that makes his laughter ring

I will leave him the contentment that causes him to lean back with his eyes closed, a smile gracing his lips

I will leave him the glee he gets from teasing those around him, his way of showing that he cares

I will leave him the adoration he has for his friends, even if he doesn’t know how to show it all the time

I will leave him the heart-stuttering, palm-clamming, anguish-causing breath of first love

I will leave him the laughter

I will leave him the love

I will leave him the fun

If I could take all his pain upon me, I would do it in a heartbeat

I would make sure he would never have to feel pain again

I would make sure he only ever felt happiness, and peace, and love

But I cannot do that

And it would not be fair

Because we need those bad days

We need the tears

So that we can better feel the joy

We need the rain

To make the rainbow

So I will leave him his emotions

I cannot feel for him

I just hope

That someday

He’ll trust me enough

To let me in

To let me feel with him

He makes me a better person

By showing me how to love