History, of The Irrelevant Variety

November 21, 2013

Teachers, I am not here to hear about your personal lives

If I wanted all of this drama I would watch a soap opera

To tell you the truth, I would rather run into a bee hive

You go on about your breakfast, your daughter, etcetera

Just a while ago, the government was shut down

But guess what we did not discuss?

Instead you chose to tell us about your wife's night gown

Now, look, I am not trying to create a big fuss

Information relevant to history is what I want to learn

Just occasionally, it would be nice

The moment that your class starts, I'm ready for it to adjourn

So it is time that you put these pointless stories on ice

This is the history of the world, not of your life

So why can't we learn about the conflict in Syria

Instead of listening to you ramble on about your new kite

This trend spreads between teachers as though it is bacteria

In fear of being perceived as disrespectful, I remain quiet

This seal keeping my thoughts in will soon be broken

And then the opinions come flying out like a crazed giant

From whose castle of which golden eggs have been stolen

Intentions are irrelevant when the fact of the matter

Is that you have not taught us anything relevant all year

I'll give you this, my dreams you do shatter

When I walk in the door and see that you are here

It is time for me to finally object

To this behavior for which teachers

Are still receiving a paycheck

They need to realize that they are not in the bleachers

Speaking to a friend about their bags left unchecked

So, if there is one thing that I ask of my school,

It's that teachers teach about their subject

Instead of telling us about their new pool.

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