The Hollow Tree

February 13, 2015

have you ever felt so numb that you cant even

think of a metaphor to explain how depressed

you are? that's how i feel right now; like a

hollow tree abandoned in the middle of herth.

i come from a past of anger issues, abandomment,

alcoholism, manic depression, and deception.

i was supposed to be the one to change

all that; i was supposed to break the cycle.

my greatest fear has always been failure.

and death. death is some scary shit.

but im just another domino, a pawn, if you will,

of what my last name has bestowed upon me.

i always wanted to take his last name

when we wed, two kindled spirits uniting

as one eternal flame, but it turns i am

hella gay and i havent even met her yet.

what good is a heart if it has no one to beat for?

what use have these lungs if there is nothing

worth breathing for? why live a life if there's

no reason to be alive? the answer is because

she's out there somewhere. if i die i'm killing

off her spirit, too. she's somebody's daughter, too.

she deserves to be happy, too.

but right now, she's just a daydream

in my numb state of curiosity.

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