Home

So many self imposed rules and regulations occupy my life

For so long they have been welcome guests in my house

They keep it so neat and tidy, everything in place, immaculate

Everyone who looks into it sees cleanliness, its perfection

Without them my house would be chaos, my daily actions reaping havoc

The table would have crumbs, the floor dirty, the beds not made

This house would be a ruin

But is it really worth it?

Do I really need this company?

These guests are just so restricting

I can’t eat on the table

I can’t wear my shoes in the house

I can’t change the covers how I please

This really isn’t my house anymore

It may look beautiful to outsiders

But it is not mine

This house is not what I want

I have even thought of putting it up for sale or destroying it

There is just so much that I want it to be

And I have thought for a long time that these guests have helped it become better and closer to what I have always wanted

But really, they have only taken it away from me and made it their own

Made it something that I do not even want to live in

I have always thought that I wanted the perfect house, perfectly clean, up to date, large, beautiful

But now I see that the perfect home does not exist

I see that I just want a home where I can eat my meals on the table, wear my shoes in the house when I don’t want to take them off, or not make the bed every once and a while

I want a home that includes my loving wife and beautiful children

A home that supports my dreams

A home built to help others, including myself

A home that I am proud of

A home that is truly mine

No longer are these guests of 19 years welcome

I am sending out the eviction notice