Home sick

Im home sick..

Well actually i’m sick of being at home.

Everyone pushes me too hard.

Everyone is too busy, i feel left out and alone.

I hate being at home all the time, i feel like i’m going to throw up.

My own house is my prison cell and my family are the guards who keep me trapped but worst of all, my dad likes to play judge, jury and executioner.

I am too afraid to ask for freedom, to be myself.

My dad gets mad every time i show the real me and labels it as not thinking and stupidity.

I dont hate my family, and i don’t hate my dad…

I hate the way i feel when they make me feel like they have my back but don’t show it or act like it.

I feel unloved in my own home, yeah they feed me, say it to me once in awhile, buy me stuff….but that… that isn’t love.

No holds me when i’m crying during my breakdowns, no one is listening to my hard times or suicidal thoughts… no one hugs me when i come home from school, no one wants to just hang out, no one wants to talk,no one is there for me .. not even myself in my own home.   

I am home sick…

I am sick of my own home. -D.L.E