Hope

All I need, only one thing?

It’s a strange idea

To only need one thing

But if pressed, we all know what it is.

For some it money

Trivial, not really a need, but a fuel for an addiction.

For some its sex,

Reproduction and pleasure, it’s a basic and natural drive.

For some family

A sense of belonging, and love.

For some its children

A bond, a purpose.

All Valid. 

But for me, I can’t say it’s any of that

All of those things will run dry

Leave me still yearning for something else

What I need, all that I truly need, is hope.

Hope carries me when I am drowning.

Parents die, siblings move away

Jobs are lost, money is burned

Trust is broken, bonds break

Children are lost to all sorts of tragic events.

And we all crumble, and I crumble

When I fall and find myself drowning in a sea of terror

Tears pouring down, feeding the waves and I want to give in

In those moments, as I look around and the water rushes over me

Hope is the safety on the gun that refuses to unlock

Hope is the entity that keeps me from tying that knot in the rope 

Hope is what stops the knife from gliding across my wrists

Hope is all I need to not step off of the ledge

I see a light. A beacon. A savior. A call in the darkest night, and above all, a reason to fight.

I see the sun in the distance, even if it is beyond far away,

And I am reminded that

I can get to shore

I can find new jobs

I can make new bonds

I can be happy again

I will be able to laugh again

Trust can be rebuilt, and kept

I am reminded that things will be better and new beginning can always be forged.

It will never run out, or dry up

Even the false hope

It carries me if only for a moment

And after

It doesn’t truly drop me, because there is always hope

Hope is all I will ever need