Hope in a Barren Land

everything whirls about me, all in my head. i do not feel you near. i reach out. But you do not grab hold. i beg and plead and cry out again and again and again. But you do not respond. i stretch my arms to the sky, my fingers tense in expectation, and yet i cannot feel your presence. You do not pull me up out of the pit that i am trapped in. when will this end?

i gasp for air. i feel the weight of my worry crushing my lungs. My head becomes dizzy. My body goes numb. i begin to collapse. And in desperation, i wonder, why do you not rescue me? How can you bear to watch your daughter suffer so? Do you simply turn away, in passivity? Do you half-mindedly glance over your shoulder, but continue on to more important things? Where are you, lord? i cannot understand. The spirit of anxiety rules me, and you sit idly by, watching, waiting- for what?

i am alone in this winter, this barren land. i am a tree, stripped of its beauty and covering of leaves, down to my very core. i stand naked, vulnerable before you. You see my every move. You know my every thought. You understand my ache and burden. Yet you do not lift this from me. i shiver and go numb in the cold. I try to wrap myself in skin. The winter winds bite at my fingertips and whip at my face. i live solely to survive. Will this last forever?

i am lonesome. i look for familiarity, but can find no comfort. For nothing is as it once was. Everything i thought i knew has changed. The grass is dead, the sky is blind, the air is still- even the birds have fled. And i am alone in the chill, in the silence. where are you, lord?

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o Lord my God,

It is You who I run to  

In times of trouble.            

I take refuge in the comfort          

Of Your mighty wings.

I find protection in You,

My stronghold and my fortress.

You are my shield from

The enemy’s flaming arrows.

They try to take me down

But they will not penetrate,

For You, my God, are a faithful God

You will not let me waste away to ruin.

My soul rests in You, for You are my Peace.

You call me into Your shelter.

You are my sustenance and my portion.
I will praise You forevermore!

For you have proven Yourself faithful

And good and true and steadfast

Time and time again.

I will sing of Your deeds all the day long.

I will shout for joy because of

Your goodness to Your people.

You have brought liberation to Your beloved

And heaped ruin upon the spirits who

Bear the name of darkness and destruction.

Evil has no foothold wherever

Your spirit dwells, love endures, and

Blood has set free.

I will fear no evil,

For there is no fear in love.

And You, Lord, are perfect love,

Living inside my heart.

Thank you for setting me free!

For breaking my chains and shackles!

You have cast away all fear and anxiety

And replaced it with joy and love

And freedom and life.

Before your throne I bow in adoration and awe,

But You lift my chin

And shine Your light upon my face.