Hope in the Silence

Hope is a magical word,

Happiness fluttering aghast in the wind

Blowing fears and uncertainty behind me

I see a world reborn

Relentless to strife

As if it has cut away my anxiety like a knife

I open my heart to the unknown

Freedom reaching through every bone in my body

I call out into the night

Letting go of my fight and accepting a moment of peace

Simple and sweet

Like the lips of a lover

Or the coo of a dove

The moon shining bright above my head

Keeps me alive

I look around at it all

This world so bright and new

Wondering how I could have ever had such hatred in my heart

I start to stand up from the ground

When I hear pound-ing on my bedroom door,

Where before my spirits soared,

I am now left confused and concerned

I thought they might’ve learned

To not make empty promises…

But my mom makes them daily

Not even noticing

“We will always love you”

She says and smiles as I walk out the door then she continues with more:

“We love you so so much, unconditionally”

I smile as I head down the street

Thinking of the long road ahead of me,

My head spasming the words back at me flashing in brightness

Liar

Liar

Liar

The words like fire in my mind

I thinking I’m breaking

Start shaking

They’ll think I’m faking for attention

I have to get out of here

I peer out of my eyelids squeezed shut to see the bus pull up at the corner of my street

Barely feeling my feet as I walk up the steps and to my seat.

I repeat in my head over and over again

Liar

Liar

Liar

I’m holding on to my very sanity like a tight-rope wire

Liar

Liar

Liar

Don’t let them think you’re just a crier

You have to hold your feelings in

To even begin to be seen as male

All hale my good ol’ friend dysphoria