HOPE WRAPPED IN REGRET

HOPE WRAPPED IN REGRET

 ~ By Debi Lyn 03/26/22

My regrets are many, and they’ve kept me paralyzed.

All my life my dreams have been left unrealized.

“Tomorrow is a new day” can’t change the past nor magically remove the guilt and shame

that CAUSES all the awful, …constant, …daily pain.

It doesn’t change a thing or put my mind at ease.

It brings no resolution to my weak and weary pleas.

I sit here trapped – a mockery of the glory

that’s suppose to shine around me and tell a hopeful story.

My reflection merely clings to sorrow,

and I’ve all but stopped hoping for a new tomorrow.

“Tomorrow WILL BE brighter. You’ll see, things will be better.”

Why insist on lying when WET just keeps on getting WETTER!?

Tiny little sparks of hope try to light the way,

but something always snuffs them out no matter HOW long or hard I pray.

Faith is the SUBSTANCE of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen;

and mustard seed faith moves MOUNTAINS, but mine just gets lodged in between.

It seemingly does NOTHING and leaves me all alone

to whine n suck n fuss n fume n ultimately groan.

Love lost, missed opportunities, impossible circumstances wrap tightly ‘round my throat

cheating my lungs out of oxygen, and I don’t even get a vote.

Locked doors and brick walls still dominate my journey and vex my very core.

The light at the end of innumerable tunnels dims and always demands much more.

I know sometimes it’s all upstream, but there must be more to destiny.

Perhaps I merely need to find, or write, another melody.

Do I dream it, make it up, write it down, or just imagine the joy?

Or is there some effective strategy I can realistically employ?

I’ve yet to determine just where to start or how I’ll ever finish;

but if and when at last I DO, I’ll be sure to thus/justly* embellish.

* can't decide which word to use